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Hugo
Steet Fighter and Mortal Kombat have long shared a rivalry in and out of Death Battle. And now it's time for us to up the stakes and send their tag teams up against each other. Intro Boomstick: They say two heads is better than one. But more often than not, one of those heads doesn't happen to have a brain inside it to be useful. Wiz: But with their partner's smarts and their own massive muscle, a brain/brawn tag team has proven to be deadly on multiple occasions in fictional history. Like Hugo and Poison, ex-Mad Gear members determined to be number one. Boomstick: And Ferra and Torr, the symbiotic outworld pair who serve the emperor Kotal Kahn. He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armour and skills in order to find out who would win... a Death Battle Hugo and Poison Wiz: There are those who know firsthand how unfortunate the world can be. From the moment they’re born to the day they die, their hard work never makes a difference in the success they have. Yet, despite this, they soldier on, ready to take anything the world throws at them. Boomstick: We all improve little by little; I mean, look at how terrible our simulations were in the first few episodes! But nobody embodies mediocrity out of obscurity quite like the infamous duo Poison Kiss and Hugo Andore. Wiz: Hugo was born and lived his early life in rural Germany before moving to the United States with his Brother, Father, Uncle, and Grandpa... all of whom were professional wrestlers. Their size and bulk made them experts in the practice, and Hugo himself had an undefeated streak, but due to unfortunate living conditions, the family joined the service of the Mad Gear Gang to terrorize the streets of Metro City. Boomstick: It was here where Hugo met up with Poison, who may have been going by the name of Sid at the time. You see, nobody knows for certain whether or not Poison used to be a man; that’s kinda what happens when two countries with different attitudes about women both want the same game. But right now, she’s very feminine, and very sexy. Wiz: And very skilled. Hugo and Poison did not work together on a notable basis while in the gang, but they were among its more prominent, and effective, members. Boomstick: However, everything changed when the manliness nation attacked, and defeated the entire gang with a force of three people. Hugo and all his family were out-wrestled by Mayor Mike Haggar in the process, and suffered defeats so humiliating, most went into hiding and haven’t been seen since. Though the gang would try to reform, with Hugo and Poison repeatedly taking the reins, the result was the same every time: crushed by moustache. Wiz: Eventually, enough was enough, and both left their lives of failure to live out a meager existence. Poison became a wrestling manager... whose clients sucked. Desperate for fame and a chance to return to the spotlight, Poison went out and searched for more powerful wrestlers to manage, where she encountered Hugo again. Boomstick: Turns out the low life of a construction worker was not enough for Hugo, who had to consistently decline offers to return to the gang. Broken, down on luck, and homesick for his mother’s garden, Hugo had finally snapped and had returned to the ring, not just in a bid to defeat Haggar in a rematch, but to become number one in the world. I’m telling ya now, buddy, one of those things is not likely to happen. Wiz: The two of them joined forces, and because of lack of additional help, Poison often stepped into the game herself to become Hugo’s tag-team partner. Together, they were nearly unstoppable... if it wasn’t for their own bad luck, they probably could have become one of the most notable wrestling teams in the world. Boomstick: Hugo carries the brawn of the team, standing at nearly eight feet tall and weighing over 400 pounds; so big, that his crouch is just him on his knees, and his reach is Hugo Huge-o. Surprise, surprise, he has superhuman strength to match, which when used with his powerful grapples and pro wrestling moves, makes him a very hard hitter. No surprise given his inspiration. Wiz: The muscles Hugo shows off aren’t just aesthetic, as he is one of the physically strongest characters in the Street Fighter series. Andore is capable of lifting and throwing massive amounts of weight, including a 6-foot boulder and an 18-wheeler truck and trailer. The strength in his arms is so tremendous that with a single clap, he can intercept and destroy ranged attacks as powerful as the Hadouken and Sonic Boom. Boomstick: His Monster Lariat clothesline is a brutal swing towards the head and neck of his opponent; the Meat Squasher puts them between rock hard abs and a hard place, and the butt-smash is exactly what the label says. He may be large and dumb, but damn, he knows how to fight brutally. Wiz: His Moonsault press is one of his most devastating attacks, and is such a key to victory that Poison is generally in charge of when he uses it. With a spinning motion potentially copied from Zangeif and Haggar, Hugo lifts his enemies approximately 25 feet up into the air, flips over repeatedly, and lands on them for a brutal takedown. The sonic waves around him hint at a descent faster than the speed of sound, but due to human terminal velocity and the freefall execution, this idea is ludicrous. However, with his large mass, attack height, and lack of after-impact movement, we can calculate the attack to hit with nearly 1.5 million Newtons of force, far beyond the point of crushing human bone. Boomstick: How can he take the abuse from his own slams? Simple; he’s a big, durable, muthafuck. No, really, we’re talking about a dude who took repeated beatings from a shark-wrestling mayor across an entire day, and is the only individual in recorded history to take a Shin Shoryuken from Ryu and remain standing to fight. Ryu was so impressed, he temporarily became Hugo’s partner. Wiz: With enough determination, Hugo can ignore the pain of any enemy attack, allowing him to execute his own attacks without flinching at those of his opponent. This ability doesn’t spare him damage, but allows him to run through attacks such as the Shin Hadouken to execute his grapples. Boomstick: And what’s better than one epic slam? Three. Not one for pulling punches, Hugo’s Gigas Breaker combo has him break his opponent’s back twice before following up with a belly-flop, all while reciting lessons he learned in German Kindergarten. Wiz: Stacked up with such strength, one is left to wonder how Poison can compare. And while it’s true she can’t match Hugo in terms of strength, or even fighting ability, she’s definitely not one to overlook. Boomstick: Uh, Duh? I know she used to be a dude and all, but... damn. I may still be feeling confused after Blue Vs Armstrong. Wiz: While Hugo knows moves and packs enough power to defeat beings such as artificial M. Bison bodies and large groups of thugs, Poison is the brains of the pair, and knows more about the less-physical sides of fighting, such as the timing of attacks, usage of stunning opponents, and how to use her... endowed body in order to gain an advantage. She’s also far more nimble than Hugo, and can leap well over six feet from a standing position in order to attack overhead... while wearing heels. Boomstick: Poison’s Aeolus Edge is an energetic ranged attack that allows her to keep opponents at bay, and her signature Poison Kiss attack releases a pink mist that stops opponents in their tracks, opening them up for a beatdown or stripping montage, depending on how she’s feeling that day. Both do solid damage because, though she is skinny, she’s totally ripped, enough to send two professional wrestlers to stretchers and defeat Rolento, whose injured body can survive three point-blank grenades. Wiz: A common M67 grenade contains 180 grams of Composition B fuel, and explodes with almost 1000 pounds per square foot of force. And that’s not taking shrapnel into account either. Though strong as she is, she’s not above carrying weapons into battle, such as handcuffs she can throw to trap others, a riding crop, or even a whip which she can charge with energy and snap fast enough to steal weapons. She also uses her body as a mental weapon, and can seduce opponents into lowering their guard... provided they don’t accidentally grope her and send her into a rage. Boomstick: Now, I know what you’re thinking. With all this epicness in two fighters, surely they must be even better as a team, right? Well, not really. See, they’re a tag team, and tag teams fight one at a time, tapping each other out. Sure, there’s some synchronization to that, but Hugo and Poison have not shown any exceptional team attacks or strategies. Wiz: As a matter of fact, for the supposed brains, Poison doesn’t often strategize at all. While she’s certainly capable of holding her own, she often doesn’t, and instead relies on her confidence in Hugo to earn the victory while she relaxes on the sidelines, even against multiple skilled opponents. Even though Hugo has participated in some pretty major tournaments, the two have yet to engage some of the world’s top fighters due to lack of press coverage, opportunities, and vendettas against Shadaloo or other evil organizations. Boomstick: Nix that last part, because one of Hugo’s tag team partners has been killed off under mysterious circumstances. Who did it? Literally nobody knows. I'm not letting these former gang enforcers off the hook so easily. Wiz: The two also bicker a lot, even over trivial things like dinner. Though when a fight is involved, Hugo will always be ready to answer Poison’s call. Boomstick: Unless he’s out on the ground after being one-shot by Sagat. Yeah, Sagat is always training and is a martial arts hero, but if experience was all that was needed to best Hugo, then Alex would be dead on the ground. He’s also particularly vulnerable to fast attacks and nutshots. Wiz: And likely health problems, given his inspiration, other wrestlers of similar bulk, and his love of Hot Dogs. Boomstick: Yeah, like that totally matters. Wiz: Hugo and Poison continue to grow in strength and popularity; it’s been admitted that Andore is much stronger than he was during his criminal days, and because of his and Poison’s world tours, it’s likely he’s returned to Germany to see his mother and relieve his homesickness. Boomstick: Unless Poison nagged him out of it to train. Poison’s on a mission, and Hugo is there to carry the team. Trust them when they say they are going all out to become the number one big potatoes. Hwoarang: Who the hell are you? Poison walks a short distance, giggling before she responds and turns around. Poison: Who am I? The ground begins to shake as a shadow grows behind Hwoarang and Fox, and they turn around to see Hugo towering over them. Hugo: We are number one! Ferra and Torr Wiz: We all have strength, we all have weakness. We all rely on others for help in one way or another, for no being is truly isolated. Sometimes we must prey on others to survive, but at other times, we enlist their aid. In such cases where the actions of two individuals mutually benefit each other where they can live as one, a symbiotic relationship is born. Boomstick: Humanity took a long time to start talking to each other, as much as I wish some people would just shut the hell up. But even through all our history of cooperation and warfare, we have yet to come to the point of telepathic, instinctual communication between brethren. If we were, it would save me so much effort getting beer. Wiz: Well, that’s not exactly true. There are plenty of cases of closely related couples, such as twins, who have been able to speak with each other without actually speaking. Though nothing comes close to the bond between the symbiotic Outworld pair Ferra and Torr. Boomstick: We’ll just call them Ferra/Torr from here on out, because it physically pains us to add in one more syllable. Wiz: The species known only as the Symbiotes is one of many fascinating races outside of Earthrealm. Though little is known about it, their unique life history is the basis for a culture based on bonding with others, as is seen through the advent of Riders and Fighters. A younger being of the species, typically smarter and smaller, rides on top of a larger brute-like being, who is much stronger and larger. This age dimorphism often makes people confuse Symbiotes for working pairs of two different races, possibly tied together through dark magic. Boomstick: Or a pair of heavy-metal gimps. Just because your species is special does not mean it is economically fortunate in a world as ravaged as Outworld, and Ferra/Torr spent most of their early life as poor wanderers in the desert, living off of meager scraps. This all changed the day they were captured by Tarkatan savages and nearly killed. I mean, that would change any life history scenario, but whatever. Wiz: They were only spared death by the arrival of one Kotal Kahn, rising Outworld Emperor who had recently dethroned its previous ruler and sparked civil war. Despite his own strength, the Kahn was vulnerable to dissenters and Mileena loyalists, and thus did not pass up on the opportunity for a life debt from the two... which they forged while dining on the Takartans. BoomsticK: Meat that comes with a knife attached? Count your blessings. Kahn certainly should, because Ferra/Torr quickly became one of the top members of his army, utilizing hulk-like strength and tag team attacks to take down foes. Wiz: The Symbiote culture forges the rider and brute relationships, rather than letting them establish through nature. This likely includes combat training as well, given the hints we have for a warrior-like lifestyle, and the fact that in spite of its savage nature, Ferra/Torr’s fighting style bears strategic merit. Boomstick: Ferra and Torr fight as one being, ruthlessly alternating attacks in order to put a never-ending assault upon their opponent. That is, provided they're durable enough to require assaulting. As a brute, Torr possesses superhuman strength, and is able to crack bones and send grown men flying with a single punch. The force required to do so is similar to the force required to launch a goddamn cannonball. Wiz: Torr stands over seven feet tall and weighs over 600 pounds, though his upper body is so massive he has to knuckle-walk in a crouched stance. Even then, his height is still superior enough to most foes , allowing him to grapple and slam them around. Despite his seemingly dull brain, Torr is capable of holding his own in a fight without Ferra, and makes use of charge attacks whenever he can avoid giving her collateral damage. With enough momentum, one of his shoulder charges can reduce a man to pieces, and one of his somersaults can flatten them like a pancake. Boomstick: Speaking of flapjacks, Torr can also toss foes into the air, letting either gravity or his airborne partner take things from there. One of his signature techniques, Torr Smash, lets him join in on the landing fun with a brutal fist, assisted by the sudden change in direction sure to cause the worst case of punch-assisted whiplash ever. Wiz: Torr is strong, ruthless, and very wild, and his damage output increases when he gets damaged. When such a gambit is deemed necessary, Ferra can stab him in non-vital areas to temporarily increase his rage and power. The risks associated with such a tactic are minor, however obvious, as the tag-team rarely gives their opponents a chance to capitalize on such self-inflicted injuries. Boomstick: When Torr’s done bulldozing, Ferra gets her turn with a little more sharp of an approach. She may be tiny and scrawny, but she’s still one scary little bastard thanks to her feral personality and, more directly, her wrist-mounted claws. You don’t need to be that physically strong in order to stab somebody to death through the throat, chest, forehead, anywhere, really. It’s these little fuckers that she most likely uses to carve out the eyes of her enemies... because they collect, and share! Wiz: Whereas Torr has reach and prowess, Ferra does not, and requires her brute in order to fight. She most often does so from mounted on his back as his rider, safe from harm and at a perfect position to jump down whenever opportunity amounts, whether that’s against someone bleeding on the ground or being held up in the air. Boomstick: But the true teamwork is when Torr swings her around, using her blades to slice opponents from afar. And if they’re too far away, well, then there’s always the signature fastball special, with impalement for desert. Wiz: Should Ferra exit her perch intentionally or unintentionally, she can’t contribute to the fight until she’s back up. Thankfully, Torr is both skilled and durable enough to hold his own long enough for this to happen. While Ferra can take an arrow to the chest, the impact and force can still knock her out of commission for a few moments, while Torr barely even flinches to the same attacks. Boomstick: He’s build Ford tough enough to take a Shadow Kick from the Cage family, fisticuffs from the Briggs family, and survive an attack from a behemoth mutant monster thingamajigger that was no less than twenty feet tall. And while Ferra doesn’t quite compare, she’s not so easy to kill either. Wiz: The two have fought in and survived plenty of major battles, including an invasion of Earthrealm, the war against the Shokan and a Red Dragon ambush. They were also among the last warriors standing against a Xenomorph invasion, though there’s no guarantee that they survived, or that the event even happened in canon in the first place. Boomstick: And I thought Kung Lao had the buzz kill. Wiz: Ferra is also confident enough in Torr to desire the blood and eyes of Shokan and Black Dragon, each feared warrior groups across all the realms. Legendary warrior Goro even considers Torr a worthy opponent, a remarkable remark; Ferra is certainly not one for underestimating Torr’s strength, given how the two have lived together as long as they have. Boomstick: Even though Torr’s speaking is limited to grunts not even subtitles consider relevant, Ferra claims she can hear him and his feelings just fine. Which I think is cool! I feel the same way about Daisy, my truck! Tough ol’ gal is the best ride around. Well, second best. First would probably have to be Torr’s armless T-Rex mount. Wiz: Wh... what the...? Is this some kind of Dark Souls and Doctor Seuss stack-up mashup? Boomstick: Dino Gimp Tower, CHAAAAARGE!!!! Wiz: Well, as formidable as they can be, they are not invincible. Their fighting style is brutally effective against many common soldiers and less experienced opponents, but against warriors with lots of battles in their belts such as Sub-Zero and Kotal Kahn, they’re no more than pests. While one would think that crowd control would be a cinch, that isn’t always the case. Boomstick: Torr’s major organs are still unfortunately vital weakspots, making him vulnerable to the kill if you hit him just right. And if you beat him enough to knock him out, that’s the awkward moment when you realize that the higher the back you sit on, the harder the fall. Wiz: More notable is that Ferra and Torr are well past their prime, almost near the end of Torr’s life. Ferra is very close to metamorphisis, where she slowly turns into a mount over the course of three outworld years. While this certainly would increase her power, the concept of two monsters is not to be, for over this time, Ferra can do nothing but writhe in pain, and Torr will wither and die. Boomstick: But hey! Right now, they’re sitting pretty comfortably among the Kahn’s most trusted guards and allies. I say to enjoy the life you have while you still got it... and be sure to wear your sunglasses when around these creepy bastards. Ferra: Ah! You here make trouble, skinny? Ng-ah uuuuugh! Trouble make you! Torr growls, and the two prepare to face off against Kung Jin. Interlude Wiz: All right, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all. Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE! Death Battle! (Emperor's Courtyard, 0:00-0:39) The roar of a crowd rings through a stadium in the desert capital of Outworld, where Mortal Kombat is being waged. However, in a difference from many previous years, it is not Outworld waging war; it is Earthrealm, bringing offense to those who long oppressed it. Thus, many of the cheers are boos and jeers towards Raiden the Thunder God, who adorns robes of black near the entrance to the arena. Outworld’s host, Kotal Kahn, lies in a throne in the center with fortitude, but clearly less confidence than his predecessor Shao Kahn. Raiden is approached from behind by Johnny Cage, a former tournament competitor, and his wife Sonya. (Silence) Cage: You sure about this? Like, really sure? Because most of our fighters kinda died last time, including our winner. Raiden: After you denied Cassandra Cage and her team chances to fight, I found fighters for Earthrealm elsewhere. Cage: And where, exactly? Professional wrestling? The two are interrupted by Erron Black, who approaches them. Black: The Kahn has requested you take one last moment to reconsider. We have no quarrel with Earthrealm, but we will kill you all if we have to. Raiden: Too long has Earthrealm been subject to threat by Outworld. You will kill no more of its inhabitants, and this tournament will be not only assurance, but proof! Black: Suit yourself. Who’s fighting? Raiden: Send your strongest warriors. Black: Plural, huh. Request or threat, that can be arranged. Black turns to leave, and Raiden watches as the mercenary signals to his emperor. (Emperor's Courtyard, 0:40-1:24) Kahn raises his hand, and out of a group of gathered Outworld warriors, the tiny Ferra runs out, to the approval of the crowd. Leaping angrily into the center of the ring, she sharpens her hand claws and screams. Raiden doesn’t flinch, and his mouth cracks with electricity. Raiden: Ferra of Outworld! Your opponent will be Poison of Earthrealm! Everyone else’s head turns to see Poison walk out from the shadows of the arena’s entrance, slowly strutting her way into the battlefield. While a few jeers can still be heard, most of the crowd is silent... except Sonya Blade. Blade: Get your eyes off her, Cage. Cage: Say what now? Poison twirls her riding crop and snickers at Ferra, who growls. Poison: Why, hello little girl! Ready to play with the big boys? Ferra: Skinny lady be quiet! Ferra already have big boy friend! Go Torr! With a large roar and thundering footsteps, Torr slowly makes his way out of a caged door on the side of the arena. The Outworld crowd goes nuts as he steps behind Ferra and she hops up onto his back. Ferra: We crush skinny lady! Take eyes! Poison: Well, that’s not really fair. Thunder boy, a hand, please? Blade: Unless she’s a poisonous ninja, that woman is going to die. Raiden: Fighting with Ferra is Torr, and thus, fighting with Poison is... Hugo! (Icehaven, 0:00-0:22) The Earthrealm fighters turn around once again to see a giant standing in shadow behind him, slowly walking into the arena with footsteps heavy enough to rival those of Torr: Hugo. He roars and the crowd roars back, echoing a wrestling arena. Cage: Are you fucking kidding me? Hugo: This tag team match, Poison? We are fighting these Ostereier? Poison: Yeah, and they’re all yours, baby! (Hugo’s Theme, 0:08-0:16) Ferra: Big man not big enough for Torr! Torr roars and slams his fists on the ground. Hugo: I’ll crush you! Poison: That’s the spirit! Kotal Kahn: (Internally) Raiden, you leave me no choice. FIGHT!!! (Hugo's Theme, 0:16-1:39) Hugo and Torr run at each other and lock hands; a fierce pushing contest begins as the two giants try to overpower the other’s strength. The crowd roars, cheering for their preferred behemoths, when Ferra makes herself known on Torr’s back. With a swing of her claws, she barely misses Hugo’s forehead as he leans back, and he loses a small lock of hair. Hugo: Hey! What’s the... The distraction is enough for Torr to gain an advantage, and he pushes Andore back before running and barreling into him. Poison struts out of the way as Hugo stumbles back, but he retains his footing and catches Torr the next time he runs at them. With a heave, he throws Torr to the ground and dusts his hands off, before noticing Ferra is missing. At the last second, he looks up, and sees Ferra diving down towards him from the sky with her blades out; a second before impalement, a snap of a whip from Poison disrupts her attack and she falls onto her feet, quickly scurrying back to a recovering Torr. Hugo: Poison, I don’t think they want to fight fair. Poison: Then, neither will we! Ferra: Hiteke ka! Gogo! Ferra slides down into Torr’s hand and he prepares to throw her at the Street Fighters; however, at the last second, he grabs her by the ankle and stops the toss when he spots Hugo raising his arms. Ferra is yanked back, to her surprise, and narrowly misses getting caught in Hugo’s clap when he brings it down. Ferra, slightly worried, shakes it off and retreats onto Torr’s back, and the Symbiotes run at Hugo and Poison. Poison backflips out of the way and Hugo runs into the two, trying to hit them with a lariat. Torr ducks the attack while Ferra hops over it and onto Hugo’s head; while he tries to shake her off, Torr grabs him by the waist and slams him into the ground, which is soon followed by Ferra landing on him and sinking her claws into Hugo’s chest. She smirks. Ferra: Pink man strong! Lots of muscle! Poison: Forgetting someone? Ferra jumps out of the way just before Poison’s whip hits her, and the trans lady runs back into the fray. Poison: Get up you baby! I thought you could handle them! Hugo: She’s annoying! Poison: Then I’ll take care of her! Hugo: (Under his breath) Wasn’t talking about the midget. Hugo then gets tackled by Torr as Poison chases after Ferra; she dodges all of the attacks, not by acrobatics so much as by running away. Soon, however, she suddenly backflips and leaps at Poison, but her opponent is quick to wrap her whip around her neck and bring her down to the ground. Ferra holds up her claws, but soon finds her wrists trapped between a pair of handcuffs. Poison laughs and Sparta-kicks Ferra in the face with her heel, before moving closer. Behind the two, Hugo and Torr are engaging in a wrestling match so fierce it shakes the stadium, much to the delight of most spectators. Punch is met by punch and grab is met with grab as the two duel with the ferocity of wild animals, but it soon becomes apparent that Hugo has more skill. Torr winds up and suckerpunches Hugo in the chest, but Hugo doesn’t even flinch at the attack and powers right through it to grab Torr’s head and leap into the air. Throwing the Brute down, Hugo lands on him with a powerful elbow attack which dents the ground below them. (Feuer Frei! 0:40-1:48) Not finished there, he pulls Torr back up by the back of his mask and immediately hits him with a spinning lariat; Torr stumbles, but manages to duck Hugo’s next grab in time. While crouched, Torr grabs one of Hugo’s shins and flips him into the air before knocking him down with a brutal punch. Towering over his opponent, Torr repeatedly brings his fists down onto Hugo’s chest and head, not giving him a chance to get up until Hugo catches one of his arms. Forcing it back up, Hugo punches Torr’s elbow while standing up, cracking the giant’s arm and causing him to groan before the two lock arms again. This time, the struggle lasts much less time, as Hugo takes a deep breath and suddenly jumps forward, knocking Torr back with his puffed up chest. Torr staggers back and prepares for further engagement, but then turns around at the sound of Ferra’s cry. Ferra lies at Poison’s feet with a few bruises across her face and body; Poison stands over hear, slapping her riding crop in her hand. Poison: Well, I thought you could at least put up a fight! But no, you only rely on your friend to do the work! Ferra: Quiet, pink lady! Poison: Why, I oughta... hmm? Poison looks up and sees Torr charging towards her in a blind rage. As soon as she can react, she jumps over and leaps off of Torr’s shoulder and runs back towards Hugo, who follows the giant. Poison: What kind of wrestler are you? He’s just an overgrown buffoon with a bag on his head! Hugo: He’s strong, Poison. You have not defeated tiny girl yet? Meanwhile, Torr kneels next to Ferra, who pats him on the shoulder. Ferra: (Quietly) Torr. We need win for Outworld. Home more important than eyes. We smash first, collect late. Torr: Hmph. Poison: Don’t you talk back to me! This is all your fault! You need to... The argument is interrupted when Torr grabs them both by the neck and throws them into the air. Ferra runs up behind Torr and jumps off of his back, then his head, and into the air after the tag team, flying by their faces and scratching each with her claws. The two land damaged, and Torr picks Poison up, thrashing her around. Hugo gets up to intervene, but Torr simply throws Poison into his arms to distract him. Ferra falls from the sky and carves a line into Hugo’s back while she lands, making him yell in pain and drop Poison onto the ground, while Torr charges into him and knocks him backwards. Poison slowly sits up and shakes her hat off, before turning around and seeing the commotion behind her; Ferra and Torr are double-teaming Hugo, who manages to fend them off despite his injuries. (Links 2 3 4, 1:43-1:58) Torr punches and kicks at Hugo, who shrugs off the damage and pushes back; Ferra tries to capitalize on the opening and leaps at Hugo’s head, but a brush of his massive arm forces her back onto Torr’s back. Poison smirks, stands up, and begins a running start. Suddenly, she leaps high into the air and kicks Ferra off of Torr’s back with an audible crack. Torr is surprised, and thus knocked to the ground by Hugo, and Poison calls out to her partner. Poison: Hugo, honey! Take out the weakling! Ferra stands up and frantically searches for Torr, but instead only sees Hugo’s buttocks flying towards her as he uses his arse to send her flying away. She rolls on the ground and recovers, and sees Hugo running after her like an idiot. Meanwhile, Poison stares up at Torr, and smiles. Poison: Well, personally, I think it’s obvious who genetics decided to be nice to. Oh, and fashion companies. Torr brings his fists down and causes a miniature tremor in the ground, but Poison jumps out of the way. With a few kicks, she sends waves of pink energy at Torr, hitting him and damaging him before she runs underneath his huge frame and jumps upwards, drilling her heels into the bottom of his neck. Torr is downed, to the shock of the crowd; especially Kotal Kahn. Hugo finally catches up with Ferra and reaches down to grab her; in a fit of desperation, she lunges with a claw and stabs Hugo right underneath one of his fingernails. Yelling in pain, he lifts Ferra up and throws her high into the air, until she’s nearly just a dot in the sky. Torr hears her cries for help, and, running over to and up an arena wall, leaps off of it to catch her; the two careen like a cannonball back towards the surface, to which Hugo boldly steps up to the plate and flexes. Hugo: Not so lucky. Hugo uppercuts the two as they land, and actually manages to overpower the descent with his fist, knocking both Symbiotes back. As they stand, Ferra scrambles back onto Torr’s back, but doesn’t quite make it in time. Poison repeats her trick and kicks Ferra off of her perch, allowing Hugo to take on Torr solo once more. Although Torr swings wildly and unpredictably, Hugo is unfazed by his punches and grabs the brute, piledriving him into the ground before tossing him up again, realigning his grip, and going for the Bautista bomb. Ferra charges at Hugo, but is intercepted by Poison who lazily kicks her away repeatedly, before standing on her hands, grabbing Ferra by the ankles, and slamming her to the ground with a twist of her thighs. Torr groans and starts to get up. Poison: What? Fine then. Hugo, hit him with it! Hugo: With what? Poison: The Moonsault! Hugo: Oh. Okay. Hugo turns to pick up Torr, while a distracted Poison gets her leg carved into by Ferra’s glove. As she turns and puts the dwarf in a chokehold with her crop, Hugo lifts Torr into the air and executes a spinning jump, dizzying Torr before flipping him over and landing on him with a devastating Belly flop. The attack generates a large crowd of dust, do the excitement of the spectators. Finally, two shadows step out of the dust; Hugo and Poison. Poison tries to hype the crowd up at their supposed victory while Hugo flexes, and finally, the manager climbs up him and sits on his shoulder provocatively in a winning pose. Though the crowd cheers, it isn’t because they’ve won. It’s because Ferra and Torr get up behind them. Before they can correct their mistakes, Hugo and Poison are ruthlessly tackled by Ferra and Torr; while Ferra scratches to keep them at bay, Torr swings his arms and pushes Hugo back. His tall presence still menaces the two, so Ferra leans down and speaks to Torr closely. Ferra: Big man strong! No throw Ferra! Throw pink lady! Poison: Huh? Poison is then grabbed by her feet and yanked into the air by Torr, who tucks her into a ball and bowls her at Hugo. Andore missteps while awkwardly trying to avoid hitting his own partner, and stumbles over to Torr with his back to the pair. Ferra: (Internally) Sorry Torr. You need be stronger now. Pain go away soon! Ferra stabs Torr in the shoulders, causing him to roar. With this pain, however, comes increased power, and Torr then punches both sides of Hugo’s skull at the same time, finally dazing the German Giant. As he stands wounded, Ferra prepares to slice his head off. Poison: Didn’t learn your lesson last time, girly? It looks like I wear heels longer than your intention span! Poison front-flips into the air again to kick Ferra, but at the last second, Torr intercepts her and grabs her with his arms. His hands are big enough to bear hug the Street Fighter, and he squeezes as hard as he can as her bones begin to crack and her mouth begins to scream. Poison: Ah! Augh! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! Hugo: Poison! Nein! Ferra hops off her perch and stands on Torr’s shoulder, extending both of her claws. Ferra: Pretty eyes all ours! Hugo: POISON!!! Ferra leaps off of Torr... and right past Poison, instead aiming for the ground. It is here where she lands in front of Hugo, who is charging towards the two intent on saving his manager. With a zip through his legs, Poison starts to trip the giant up; she continues to throw him off balance by running through his legs while he swings his arms at her, never managing to score a hit. Hugo: Augh! So small! Stay still! Hugo lifts his leg to stomp on Ferra, and she quickly runs underneath his large foot and stabs upwards; her blades break through Hugo’s boot and impale his foot, stabbing out the top. Hugo’s hair flies upwards and his eyes pop out of his skull for a split second before he screams in pain and begins to fall over backwards. While he collapses, Ferra jumps up and donkey-kicks him in the chest to finish the job. He falls flat on his back with a large thud that echoes through the arena. Poison: What? No way!!! Raiden grits his teeth as Cage and Blade curse under their lips. The Outworld crowd begins to cheer even louder as the Kahn sits up straight in his throne. The finale is at hand. The roars of the crowd and Ferra’s own yells slowly echo into the mind of Hugo, who remains on his back. Slowly, the situation dawns on him. A quick flashback of him getting smashed by Torr and downed by Ferra plays in his mind. And with the crowd’s chants hypnotizing him... he begins to cry. Loudly. To the shock of absolutely everyone. Hugo: WAAAHAAAHAAA!! WAAHHAAA!!! AAAAAAAHHH! MAMA! MAAAMMAAA!!! I’M NOT THE BIG POTATO!!! WAAHAAAHAA!!! As everyone else stares dumbfounded, Poison kicks and squirms as she tries to free herself from Torr’s grasp. Poison: Hugo! Get up! GET UP! Ferra: Torr, get lady DOWN! Torr growls and lifts Poison above his head before smashing her into the ground. Several of her bones break and she coughs up large amounts of blood with the winding impact; she becomes just as helpless on her back as Hugo in a matter of seconds, unable to get up. Ferra crawls over her and sharpens her claws one more time. Ferra: No more interrupt! Now we take eyes! Poison: We... were supposed to be... invincible... team... Ferra: Ah ah! You lose! You just team! Only team! Ferra withdraws her blades from Poison’s face and runs up Torr’s arm, perching herself on his back as he stands up tall. Ferra: We more than team! Ferra Torr fight as one! Ferra Torr are one! Torr: GRAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW!!! The crowd erupts in thunderous applause, and the two receive a standing ovation as the drums for fatality start to play. But the drums aren’t the only thing echoing in the arena. Ferra’s last word, “one” also slowly repeats itself... but not to the audience. To Hugo’s ears. One... one... one... one... Suddenly, a vision of Hugo’s mother handing him a potato makes Hugo stop crying, and his eyes fly back open. Hugo: AAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGHHH! YOU! Ferra and Torr, and Poision as much as she can, turn their heads to see Hugo climbing back to his feet, completely renewed with energy. Stretching his arms above his hand while flexing, one can almost visualize the aura of anger surrounding him as he prepares a desperate attack. Hugo: NEIN! I AM NUMBER ONE! HUGO IS NUMBER ONE!!! YAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! With a loud battle cry, Hugo begins to charge towards the symbiotes, his hands outstretched in front of him in such a fashion that if it wasn’t for the yell, he’d look like a total dumbass. Ferra looks at Torr, the two nod, and Ferra hops into the air. Torr catches her by the legs and swings his arm, cycling her around while she holds her blades in front of her. Ferra: Pink man go bye-bye! Go Torr! Torr launches Ferra at Hugo like a torpedo, and the two blitz towards each other. Hugo: Gehen fick dich! Not caring about Ferra, Hugo runs right by her and bitchslaps her in the head so hard, the impact is heard throughout the stadium. Ferra flies into a wall with a large thud and slumps down on the ground, eyes closed. To this, Torr’s eyes grow a fiercer shade of red and he roars louder than he has ever roared before. He raises his arms to catch Hugo’s charge, but this time around, the wrestler is much stronger. He bulldozes Torr to the ground, and grabs his enemy in a bear hug. Hugo: EINS! Hugo flips up into the air, carrying Torr along the way while spinning him, and then descends to the ground with a large stomp while breaking Torr’s back over his own large back. Hugo: ZWEI! Hugo does the move again, jumping into the air with Torr and breaking his back upon landing. Torr is all but whimpering in pain as Hugo prepares for the last attack. Hugo: DREI! Hugo leaps even further into the air, nearly three stories high, and places Torr underneath him in the air. Hugo: ENDE! The two descend, with Hugo preparing a large press, and the thud that hits the ground echoes throughout all of Outworld. Kahn: No! Black: Shit. Cage: Damn. Blade: Christ. Raiden: Hmph. Torr’s spine is now useless, and he struggles to squirm around, let alone even stand up to continue fighting. Heavily bruised and bloodied, staining the sands around him, he can do nothing as Hugo gets up off of him, grabs him by the neck, and props him up so that he lies on his knees in front of the Wrestler. Poison: Yeah, that’s it baby! Finish him off! Hugo: Your mask looks like potato bag! Nein! Only potatoes go into potato bags! Don’t make fun of potatoes! DON’T SCHEIßE WITH POTATOES! Hugo stretches out his arms, and claps as hard as he can, temporarily sandwiching Torr’s head between his palms before he reduces it to Kingdom Come with his attack. Taking his red-palmed hands apart, Hugo then stands back, and watches Torr’s headless body slowly slump to the ground, pouring out every last ounce of red liquid inside it. The Earthrealm warriors break out of a stunned silence to cheer, as Hugo lifts up Torr’s body and displays it to the audience. Hugo: MAMA! HERE, ON POOR SOIL, I AM NUMBER ONE! ONE!!! Raiden catches Poison slowly climbing to her feet, and gives her a shout. Raiden: Poison! The other one! Poison turns her head and sees Ferra’s body still lying against the wall. Picking up her crop as a precaution, she walks up to Ferra and keels down. Ferra’s eyes are open, yet all-but devoid of life inside. Her body slowly twitches, and foam is slowly escaping her mouth. Poison: Well, you didn’t win, but at least you get to live, girly. Granted, you probably won’t be able to do much anymore. But that’s what you get for challenging us! Poison raises her hand to the sky and brings out the devil horn fingers, and the crowd roars in both approval and disapproval at the result of this Mortal Kombat. K.O!!! Poison flirts with Johnny Cage and Hugo gulps down a victory buffet with the Earthrealm warriors as Kotal Kahn negotiates surrender with Raiden. Torr’s body lies on a sacrificial table as Quan Chi examines Ferra in her vegetative state. Results Boomstick: ...Well that was dark... damn. Wiz: Everything Ferra and Torr had going for them, Hugo and Poison ultimately countered or outclassed. Both street fighters have been able to curbstomp multiple opponents before while on their own, but Ferra and Torr fight as one more than they fight as two, meaning that to boot they were really at a numbers disadvantage anyways. Especially since Poison served much more use in the fight than Ferra if the giants were equally matched. Boomstick: But they weren’t. Hugo is tall enough to contend with Torr, throwing him out of his usual element, and he’s also much physically stronger. An empty 18-wheeler rig can way upwards of 35 000 pounds, nearly sixty times the weight of Torr, and while Torr’s flops can flatten opponents, Hugo’s have the potential to reduce to ketchup and bone dust. Most of Torr’s moves that obliterate the body don’t even have the effect until well into the battle when his enemy is worn down. Wiz: Torr is durable, yet can be injured by individuals or attacks with less power than Hugo. But the biggest key to this victory was Hugo’s own durability. Ferra and Torr fight with an assault, with Torr starting off a beatdown and sending in Ferra to finish the job, or to open up another slot for Torr. This was not effective against Hugo, who was able to power through the initial attack and strike with enough force to cripple the Symbiotic strategy. With his Monster Lariet, he can run through attacks like the Metsu Hadouken, a stronger form of an attack so powerful it can split waterfalls or decimate skyscrapers. Boomstick: Ferra/Torr, on the other hand, can take arrows but they still sting. They also can’t really take ice, swords, or blunt force very well. Wiz: Ferra/Torr has a shadier record than Hugo, who has an impressive winning record despite his losses where it counted; even though they were able to outmatch most of Cage’s Special Forces team, if the scene is played from a failed QTE standpoint, all Ferra/Torr does is grab them individually and toss them aside. Not only does that not really count as a victory, but good luck grabbing Hugo. Poison would have been more vulnerable, but Hugo is pretty protective of her. Even when they had the opportunity and reason to cripple or kill Cassie Cage, all they did was throw her to the ground rather painlessly. Boomstick: Also, if your opponent has a signature spam attack that’s a clap powerful enough to break fireballs and cars, then throwing your ally at them is really, REALLY not the best idea. Leaving Torr’s back would be incredibly dangerous to Ferra because of facing either that clap, or Poison herself without any fighting prowess of her own. Yes, Poison often just sends Hugo in to fight for her in a lazy tag-team style, but Hugo likely could have defeated the two on his own anyways. Wiz: Thus should Poison have stepped in the game, she possibly may not have been powerful enough to contend with Torr, but she certainly cemented Andore’s win. Poison was the smartest fighter present and didn’t take long to figure out Ferra as the weak link; she was also acrobatic enough to leap over Torr and attack the pygmy directly, with enough force to potentially match grenades. Boomstick: With her ranged attacks, weapon-stealing whip, and the fact that Ferra knows a pretty lady when she sees one, Poison had plenty to contribute to the victory. Torr couldn’t even contribute his dinosaur, because until we see him use it in a fight instead of just transport, then it doesn’t really mean jack. Wiz: And in case Ferra/Torr got too annoying for the simple-minded German, Poison was always there to nag him back into the fight. So, that kind of worked out. Boomstick: Also, bonus advantage: not only are Andore’s eyes hard to see, decreasing Ferra/Torr’s motivation, but they’re also really ugly, and probably not worth collecting. Well, Ferra thought she and Torr had the advantage, but it wasn’t long before the vege-tables turned. That’s a clap, everyone. Wiz: The winners are Hugo and Poison. Do you agree with the results of Hugo & Poison vs Ferra & Torr? Yes No The result was right, the reasoning was not Next Time Boomstick: NEXT TIME, ON DEATH BATTLE! The sun shines down onto a scorching desert, where no sounds but the wind can be heard as it picks up and carries sand across the dunes. That is, until two gunshots ring out. The two bullets are now shown, having met in the air and melded together before falling to the ground. A figure with tall blonde spiky hair and a red trenchcoat holds his silver revolver out against a short man with a gas mask and desert suit, who holds out his old rifle. ???: Woah! You nearly hit me! ???: Meh. Suck it up and die, biotch! Cue heavy strumming of an acoustic guitar Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:'Mortal Kombat vs Street Fighter' themed Death Battles Category:MP999 Category:'Villain vs. Villain' Themed Death Battles Category:'Capcom vs Warner Bros.' themed Death Battles Category:"Team on Team" themed Death Battles Category:'Fighting Game' themed Death Battles Category:'Video Games' themed Death Battles Category:Arcade Coin-Op vs Home Console themed Death Battles Category:Anti Hero themed Death Battles Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:'Capcom VS NetherRealm Studios' themed Death Battles Category:Two-on-Two themed Death Battles Category:'Wrestling' themed Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2016